Like the majority of 2020, plans changed. Many of my well-intentioned ideas and posts were eaten by the procrastination monster and the idea of trying to recap a very eventful show season suddenly seemed near impossible. BUT, I am back and have a bit to say about my journey as a re-riding equestrian! The 2019 show season was one for the history books! I ended up leasing Grady the wonder-horse and we went full on horse-show crazy! Grady ended up Champion in the Rusty Stirrup division and we ended up reserve in the 2' hunters. If you had told me at the start of the season, as I was huffing my anti-stress essential oils at the in-gate that we would end up coursing 2' with rollbacks by the end of the season, I would've seriously probably fallen off the dang horse. Not only did we get tri-color end of year ribbons, I also somehow managed to place 8th in the 2' eq division despite only starting my eq "career" (lol) in August of 2019. Equitation is generally a mind-puzzle for me, but I felt as we moved throughout the season, I was getting stronger with the more technical courses! My trainer decided to semi-retire Grady man at the end of the season, and suddenly I was looking for a new horse to lease or buy! More on that next time...
0 Comments
It is officially show season for my Hunter/Jumper circuit. We are in show-every-weekend full swing, and between the budgeting and saving for each event- there is the creeping stress of wanting to do my best and prove I belong. Imposter syndrome is defined as "the persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts or skills.".
I'm seriously struggling with imposter syndrome now. I wish I had plenty of tips to give about how to overcome this anxiety in the horse world, but I don't. What I have found helpful is to listen to your horse and trust your trainer. If you are feeling extra insecure-- a quick check in with your instructor may give you the grounding you need! I'm so excited to share this post from our co-blogger and riding BFF, Laura! Learn more about Laura on the "About" page!- Michelle When I came back to riding as an adult, I think the two things I remembered about safety around horses was limited to wearing a helmet and always letting a horse know you were about to walk behind them. In the now nearly 13 years I have been riding, helping teach beginners, and volunteering with therapeutic riding programs as an adult, it has become clear it is not all that simple. There are MANY safety rules, and if they are consistently followed, it sets up people on the ground around horses, as well as those in the saddle, for the safest possible outcome. Statistically, most accidents involving horses happen on the ground. What is the first thing you do when you dismount off your horse? I instinctually run my stirrups up. This is because I was taught by someone with the experience and education to instill in me the fear of God should I not. She had seen the scene I am about to describe and wanted to ensure none of the riders she taught ever ended up in this horrific situation. At a show this last weekend, which I attended with my barn to support and cheer them on, I saw an accident take place. I was sitting to the left of my friend at the end of the bench near the ingate to an indoor arena. We were watching a rider from this barn do her round on her lovely horse when we heard noises behind us. We turned around to see a horse who had come out of the arena several minutes earlier spinning around on the concrete near other horses, spectators, tables, heat lamps, and benches. It was a cold day, and while horses waiting to do their rounds typically are outside at this venue, the garage door was closed and horses were waiting with their riders on the concrete area surrounding the benches. Back to the spinning horse. We could see it’s head was wrenched around at an odd angle and it was panicked. People had cleared the area as best they could, but it was close quarters. The horse then hit the ingate to the indoor arena with an echoing crack. At this point, we realized the horse had his stirrup iron stuck in his mouth and was careening towards us. We stood up, realizing we needed to get out of the way in case this horse came on top of the benches, when an opportunity to help arose. My friend caught this horse by his bridle and shouted instructions to someone I couldn’t see on the off side to get the saddle off. I grabbed the iron in his mouth as he started to go to the ground. I pulled as hard as I could, and the iron gave enough to pop up and over his bottom teeth. He was finally free, standing up dazed. We stood their petting him as the rider’s trainer tended to the saddle, the girth dangling, while I put up the stirrup on the near side. At that point, my friend said, “This is why you always run your stirrups up.” The trainer lost it. She yelled that the rider “just got off for a minute and was about to get back on.” To which I replied, “it doesn’t matter.” The point of this (somewhat) dramatic story should be a reminder to us all. It only takes a second or two for an “accident” to happen. Although, given the preventable nature of this, I would be loathe to call this an accident. I routinely see kids, adults, professionals even, walking their horses around with their stirrup irons dangling down from the saddle. Why??? They could get hung up on something you pass, hit your horse’s side (or your head) if they spook, or (and yes I agree it’s probably very rare) as in this case, the horse reaches around to bite at its side and gets the iron caught in its mouth. This horse could have flipped over or gone down, could have injured another horse or person, or any number of horrific endings that didn’t occur. For that I am grateful. I sent this trainer an apology text, because she was so incredibly upset, but I never got a response. I will only apologize for saying what we said at the time. It was not particularly helpful in the moment. But it was still 100% correct. It doesn’t matter how soon you need to get back on your horse, or if you are momentarily adjusting tack, run your stirrups up or cross them over the saddle. Every time. What are some other safety concerns you have seen at shows? How would you address them with the show organizer or individual?
At the beginning of the year, I found myself in a bit of a predicament. I had mentioned to another student at my barn that she could trial my saddle and if she liked it, she could buy it. I can't even say fast-forward days later, because she handed me cash for the saddle the day she tried it. So,Bye Bye Beval! Without a saddle, I was using my trainer's Butet until I found another one. Let's take a moment to rewind though okay? I bought my Beval for basically two reasons:
I reached out to Double Oak Tack, which is based out of the DFW area. And WHAT A DAY I had with them! Cindy Aruna (the owner of Double Oak) was super helpful in looking for, finding, and fitting a saddle for me. She brought out about seven to look at and I ended up riding in three. I had a pretty precise price range and she found ones that fit them with ease and didn't pressure me to buy outside of what I was comfortable in! The first one I tried was a Devoucoux. I liked it best (in theory) because it was the cheapest, but as soon as I sat in it, it didn't feel super great. Don't get me wrong it was a GORGEOUS saddle, but I felt pitched forward and after a short ride, I knew it wasn't right. You know how they say when you try YOUR wedding dress on you KNOW. I mean, I know that happened to me when I got married. I didn't really expect that to happen with my saddle, but it did. The second saddle I tried was the one I ended up buying. The MINUTE I sat in this one I knew. It put my leg in the a great place, I felt balanced and more importantly, I felt secure and safe. But, it was at the top of my price range and determined to find a 'better' saddle (aka better price) I tried some more. <--- The last saddle I tried really SOLIDIFIED why I needed the Butet. It was a deeper seat, which I thought would mean a more secure seat but I was so wrong. I was immediately gripping with my hip flexors and my leg was all over the place. So, I rode in the Butet one last time, and after taking a few jumps, I knew I had to buy it. I wish I had the words to describe how it easy it was to feel where I was in relation to the jump and how easy it was to know what Grady was doing while riding in it. I was literally smiling at the end of the trial. Buying a saddle is a huge commitment, and an investment. But after a few months of riding in my amazing new purchase, I can tell you it is worth it! And if you are in Texas (or even US she does ship!) I highly suggest you check out Double Oak Tack, because it is hands down the best equestrian retail experience I've ever had! And I'm in no way affiliated or sponsored by them, I just REALLY like them that much! I fell 'out of the saddle' if you will in November of 2018. I got a double ear infection and it knocked me right out. On top of that, Lizzy, the horse I've been half-leasing, went... well, she went the way of the Chesnut Mares (TM). My confidence? Gone. I had lost both physical and mental muscle. I got the wind knocked out of my sails. In December, I tried to focus on fixing the bad habits I had developed in riding Lizzy in defensive mode. But even still, I felt like I was really failing at being an adult and a rider, let alone an adult rider.
Nothing will change unless you change your own attitude, so I gave myself a mental kick in the rear (with the help of my supportive trainer who reminded me of how far I had come since March and to stop the pity party). So, in an effort to be accountable to myself- here are my equestrian goals for 2019: Ride Twice A Week I need to accept that with my job a 4x a week riding scheduleis a lofty goal. And one I will strive for, but realistically I am setting myself up for failure from the get go. Twice a week is completely manageable... because there is always the weekend. Celebrate Small Successes Did I conquer the cavaletti? Am I able to sit trot with more control and less floppity-floop? Does my leg not swing like a cuckoo clock? On their own they may not seem big, but I need to celebrate each small victory on my way to being a stronger rider! Stop Getting McDonald's On the Way to the Barn Because my wallet AND my waistline can't really afford it! Feel free to comment your goals on this post! Here is to a Happy and Horsey New Year! So, in my summer of discovery, I have already learned that the internet is full of lies and a fancy website does not mean a fancy lesson barn. Undeterred, I continued my search and after a recommendation from another riding friend, I went ahead and scheduled a lesson with someone I will only refer to as The Fancy Hunter Trainer. Now. I will say the lesson was great. Really great. I'm a visual learner and I got some great feedback on ways to visualize outside rein connection, shaping turns, etc. Tbh, it was worth the money I paid for the lesson. But that isn't what this post is about. This is about a specific convo that occurred after my second lesson. I was commenting on another rider that I got to watch prior to my lesson. I commented on what a good rider she was with a clear connection with her horse... and the Fancy Hunter Trainer replied ... "You'd be that good too, if you were thinner" Um. What? "It is a lot of weight to throw around when you get off balance up there. It would help". Now, one of the reasons I got back into riding was to do a form of exercise that I enjoy. Equestrians are athletes, no doubt-- even those of us that don't mean the standard for what a rider should look like. But I don't need to be told by a trainer (who is heavier than me) that I need to lose weight. And my riding skill has nothing to do with the number on my scale, but the number of months I've been back in the saddle. I brushed it off and thought it was a good thing I'd never take from her again, but her comment has really burrowed a hole in a my brain. When I was trying on show clothes, I was thinking of that comment. When I see photos of me riding, I think of that comment. How annoying that a stupid rude sentence has lodged itself in my brain! My trainer and I have talked about it extensively and I am thankful that she continuously puts an emphasis on FITNESS not FATNESS. She reminds me how far I have come on an athletic level since I started riding and encourages me not to get discouraged when snide comments sneak into my brain. There's a lot of bru-haha in the eq world about plus sized riders. What is the "right size". What is healthy for the horse. And I'm not trying weigh in (ha) on that. What I'm trying to say is that we, as adult riders, need to be supporting each other and building each other up. Not tearing each other down. The Plaid Horse just launched a great body positive shirt that I am in LOVE with and cannot wait to purchase. If you'd like to get one of your own-- click here. So I can't believe it has been a month since I last wrote a post. Actually, I can. But I promise to do better. I have a few blog posts written and scheduled for this week, so please don't give up on us! When I last posted, I was in the process of writing about my journey to find a barn home while I was away from my real barn for work... my adventures sat in the 'drafts' section for a while, but all three are now written and will be posted throughout this week! Please note, I am being intentionally vague in this post as I believe it is my personal experience and I'm not here to shame anyone but humorously tell my tale of wtf.
The area I was working this summer is very horse heavy, but more Western than English. So finding an English barn was difficult, and finding a hunter/jumper barn was almost impossible. After what I thought was a pretty exhaustive internet and facebook search, I had put out feelers to multiple barns that either had english lessons or english horses available for lease. The first to reply was a small barn in the vicinity of where I was working. The owner didn't really "do" lessons, but there was a horse I could lease. The barn owner offered to let me come try the horse while I was on a work trip and that they would also stick around and offer pointers and give an example of a lesson with them (even though they didn't really do lessons anymore, so they said). The barn's website was beautiful, professional, and full of accolades. It was, in a word, slick. Beautiful facilities, beautiful horses, beautiful anything and everything. I was stoked. What I found however was not was the internet offered (cue: blog title). Here's a short list of things that occurred during my time at this barn (1 hour) that I am still confused about to this day.
Yes, I paid $85 for a lesson on a horse that hadn't been ridden in a month, to be completely flummoxed and question my ability as not only a rider but a human capable of understanding direction. I paid $85 to be confused, over a month later, about what I experience. I... just.... sigh. I did not return to that mounting block. Next post: I find a fancy hunter trainer... and everything was great until it wasn't. -M My job this summer took me away from our home in North Texas to a place a little more south. I'm not going to lie, I was pretty sad to leave my barn because I felt like I had just found my new home. I had fallen into my summer routine with riding and mixing it up was scary. I had just found a trainer I respected and who I felt respected me. I didn't want to quit riding for the month, but I didn't want to go through finding another trainer or another barn or another round of self-doubt.
BUT I was determined to find a place to at least ride 2x a week if not more and my next few blog posts will be about my experiences finding a place to ride while working away from home. I'm no expert, but here is what I have learned from this experience: 1. Do you like the instructor? Does the person you are taking a lesson from support you while giving you things to work on? Or do you want to cry because you feel like you can do nothing right? If it is more latter than former, I'd look for another place. 2. Do you like the horses? Do you feel safe on the horse? That is the most important thing. School horses all have their quirks but if you are honestly not confident riding that horse it effects everything! You tense up. The horse can feel that and suddenly what was once a molehill is now a big ol' scary mountain! 3. Do you like the barn? Do the horses look happy? Are the stalls clean and taken care of? Is the footing where you are riding good? Are there specific safety practices in place? Be aware of more than just your experience at the barn-- look around and see what else is going on. 4. Get a video if you can! Try and have the instructor get a little video of something you worked on in the lesson. This will help you remember what you did/jog your memory when comparing barns. Also, a lot of times I have noticed instructors keep teaching while videoing (which is good!) and it reminds me of their teaching style too! 5. Talk to your home trainer! After every place I went to, I checked in with my trainer at home. I let her know about how I felt and what I did in the lesson. She didn't chime in with a YES or NO, but she did look at the videos that were taken and would talk to be about different things she noticed. Never once did she say NO, but after talking to her I felt more confident in pursuing another lesson or if I needed to find another barn. This all boils down to a basic theme of TRUST YOUR GUT. Are you leaving the lesson less sure of yourself as a rider than when you walked in? Were you concerned for your safety while either at the barn or on the horse? Did you see something that made you think "hmmmm that doesn't seem right" THEN DO NOT GO BACK! I think all of this factors into finding a barn in your hometown too. It shouldn't just be something when you are away from home. What do you look for when finding a new place to ride? -Michelle Have you ever noticed that every time you're ready to leave the barn, you remember that one thing that needs to be done? Yesterday it was polo wraps. As I was ready to leave the insane TX heat and sit in my sweet sweet AC'd car, I saw them there. They sat sad a listless on the bench where I had discarded them before Lizzy's bath. Two sad little noodles asking to be rolled. So I sat my stuff down and rolled them. Here's a comic from my adventures trying to leave today: What little things pop up (or in my case forget about!) before you leave the barn?
Four words. Sit back and ask. Okay, let’s try again. Four more words. I hate canter transitions. Seriously. At this exact moment in time, I find them to be the most frustrating thing in the world! The horse I am half-leasing is lovingly called Lazy Lizzy, but she’s not the problem. It would be easy to blame her. I want to blame her! But like any good breakup text—it’s not her, it’s me. When talking through with my trainer, I can eloquently and scholarly state what I need to do to get the correct transitions from walk to canter. I can break apart every thing I am doing wrong when I am asking for the canter transition, but there is a major disconnect when I am actually doing it. My biggest problem is I’m not sitting back. I’m not even sitting straight. I’m hunched over like Gollum loving on the evil ring from Lord of the Rings. My precious. It’s like my body wants to push Lizzy into the canter by sheer will and force of my shoulders moving toward her shoulders… like that’s gonna help. I am fully and completely aware that this is my biggest problem. I also like to throw my reins forward as if I'm pleading with Lizzy to give in and just canter already. And every time I think I have a handle on it and walk through my mental checklist of where my body is vs. needs to be and make the changes, I fall apart two steps into asking. Here’s an illustration: At the very end of my lesson, exhausted, frustrated, feeling all sorts like a failure, my trainer jokingly said "You gotta think open chest, head up like you're looking at God". I laughed-- "So... say a prayer and then canter". Haha so funny right? Y'all. IT WORKED. It wasn't perfect. It wasn't immediate walk to canter, but it was the perfect visual to help me get my body where I needed it to be and STAY there. I’ll keep working on it. And Lizzy and I will get it eventually. And I’ll celebrate with a victory canter lap around the arena like I just took home Gold for the USA!
-Michelle |
Archives
February 2021
Categories
All
|